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Millie
Days of the lemonade service:
F/A would fill a tray with empty styrocups and approach another F/A, faking ‘a trip’, with the cups going all over the unknowing F/A. You want to see someone flinch!!!
During demo, F/A in aft, pads the rear of his pants with pillows, turns to his side so the ‘butt’ is really big & puffy, modeling for the f/a at the front of cabin giving demo.
Making ‘teeth’ out of the top of styrofoam cups, sticking them under your top lip and giving a big SMILE!
.................and when you really get punchy and bored, and don't care about your hairdo, taking a pillow case, drawing a funny face on it, cut holes for the eyes, slipping it on your head, turning you into...........
‘the unknown flight attendant.”
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Jennie
Does anyone remember the Capt that would sit in his seat for boarding and wear a blind persons glasses. The looks of the passengers as they boarded were priceless.They would be all smiles and then take one look at the Capt thru the cockpit window as they were stepping onto the aircraft. Once they saw him, their look was sheer terror. They would ask me questions and look so scared.I have never laughed so hard during boarding...
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Jan
I hope this never ends! My laughs for the day! Here’s one I’ll tell on our Capt. in Cairo when we had the long layovers. He won’t mind as he told the story on himself for weeks afterward. He had been given one of the suites over in the annex with the kitchen, living room, bedroom, luggage room and bathroom. When you wake up in the middle of the night, you can do alot of wandering to find the john. In the process he missed the john, opened the hall door and found himself standing in the hallway naked as a jaybird with the door shut and locked. There was no hall guard in sight and he wandered the hall in his nakedness looking for some way of getting out of this predicament. He finally found a closet with old sheets and wrapped himself up in one until finally some hall person appeared to let him back into his room. He told the story on himself the next day on the way to Riayad. When we got back to Cairo very late, Ellie Shaub and I got some fig leafs off the trees that are in front of the Nile Hilton and after having a sandwich, went up to his room and slipped several fig leaves under his door along with a poem. The next day he asked everyone who it was. We played dumb. We slipped fig leaves under his door every night until he was staying up watching so he could open the door on us. We’d slip down a few doors and hide in the indented space and got away with it for several nights until one night he must have staked himself out right by the viewing lens and caught us. We had him going most of the layover over these fig leaves!
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Amy
A friend of mine had gained a little weight over the summer of 1990 and was called into the office to discuss the situation. She walked in for the meeting and was meet by a very snooty, very overweight herself supervisor. The supervisor spoke to her very condescendingly and told her how important it was to maintain her weight. How we had an image to uphold and she had to be sure to maintain positive self image. She then walked her over to a full length mirror and gazed into along side my friend and said “OK I want you look into this mirror and tell me what you see. and you MUST be brutally honest in your answer... My friend thought for a minute then said “ Ok I see two fat women. The supervisor asked her to please leave and she was never contacted again. lol
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Kathy
One evening taking meal orders on the ground I came to the gentleman in 3a whose name was Peter Pfeiffer. I said “Mr Pfeiffer what can I get you this evening?” He said “My name is puh-feiffer...the P is not silent. I said “Oh OK Mr. Puh Feiffer would you like some Puh- food? He didnt laugh
Laurie
Were you serving ‘pickled peppers’?
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Sharon
I’m working L1 saying my buh-byes and thank-yews after landing in ABQ when two sweet grannies toddled up and asked, “How do we get to our cruise ship?”
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Lore
While on probation status, I was working the first-class extra position to Paris. One of my duties was pouring wine. No wine basket, no problem, or so I thought! Armed with champagne under my left arm, red and white wine in my right, out I go to face the thirsty F/C crowd.
After pouring a glass of red wine to a male passenger seated in 3C (mind you, I am right handed and always pour with my right hand). The passenger in 3A asked for a glass of white wine. Now, the passenger in 3C was dressed in the brightest, snow-white linen suit, I had ever seen.
To this day, I wonder why I just did not put the bottle of red wind on the floor. Instead, I tucked the red bottle under my left armpit, leaned over to pour the white wine for the passenger seated in 3A. I heard the sound, glug... glug… glug…
I looked down to see the red wine pouring into the crotch of the man dressed in the white suit. I was in such shock! All I did for a second was stare with my mouth open at his wine soaked pants, directly 2 feet below my eyes - as more continued to drip out of the bottle. I finally gathered my composure, got out the “club soda’ and was flustered beyond belief! Thank God, the man was wonderful about the whole thing. He kept telling me not to worry. He changed into another suit; I gave him tons of cleaning slips, and never heard a word about it again.
I was so embarrassed! Thank goodness, for the most wonderful and understanding passenger a flight attendant can hope to have on-board.
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Shannon
I was flying to Alaska with Donnie G, my fellow flying partner. When I was finished skipping down the aisle with pure joy and excitement (I was use to flying Springfield turns). We started the beverage. service and of course, the ice was frozen solid with no ice hammer.
What would every GOOD flight Attendant do? You’ve got it; grab the nearest can of tomato juice. Well, this ice was similar to what the Titanic hit. All the banging on the ice pierced a tiny hole in this highly pressurized can. The tomato juice began to spew out in projectile fashion and landed everywhere! Just the look on Donnie’s face makes me laugh whenever I think about it.
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Eileen
Shortly after TWA purchased Ozark Airlines, I was the Flight Service Manager on a Lockheed 1011. Making the welcoming announcement,I thanked everyone for flying Ozark. I was so flustered, that after I hung up the PA to take my seat, I sat down without pulling the seat down. There I am sitting there sprawled on the floor right in front of everyone! Thank goodness, the supervisor riding in first class saw the humor in it!
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Eileen
Here is another one; again on my favorite plane, the Lockheed 1011.
Working a night flight in first-class, I noticed that someone had cleaned out the top drawer of the liquor cart. I mean it was completely empty! I recalled a gentleman passenger had just been in the coat closet going through his gigantic garment bag.
Later during the flight, this passenger fell asleep. I went into the coat closet and felt the outside of his bag. Hmmmm… kind of lumpy, I thought. I probably should not have, but I unzipped it and there were the contents of the liquor drawer.
Can you imagine his surprise when he opened his bag later on and found it full of empty minis?
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Lore
Tel Aviv at the Hilton, of all places - must have been in the 80’s. We had just gotten back from dinner (and a little night clubbing as I recall), and was getting ready to turn in. I was in my “teddie”, NOTHING on the bottom, and realized I had not put out the Do Not Disturb sign. I opened the door a crack, reached around to put the sign on the knob and “whoosh” - there goes the sign and floats into the middle of the hall. It was late, I looked BOTH ways, no one there and tried to reach out to pick up the card, my foot came off the door and it banged shut behind me! So here I am, half naked in the middle of the hall and heared talking in the room directly across from me - I really thought it was my flying partner. I banged on the door and finally this woman (didn’t know her from Adam - and non- english speaking) cracked to door and started to scream for her husband. He grabbed the sheet off their bed and pushed it through the cracked door at me, realizing what had happened. But NOT before he had called security before stripping his bed. I wrapped the sheet around me as fast as I could, and as I was doing so, noticed four Israel soldiers about ten feet away with their sub-machine guns pointed at me!
Meanwhile the man had called for another key for me and management came with it shortly after. But before the soldiers left, one looked at me, said: “will you be back next week so we can “see” you again?” winked and left ! I was SO embarrassed, I traded out of the rest of my Tel Aviv’s for the rest of the month!
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And more........
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