|
Maggie
We did have alot of fun and the great part of the job was that it wasn’t so serious. We could get away with cutting up and doing dumb things like sneaking artificial legs out of overhead racks while the passenger slept and taking crazy pictures of us with an extra leg sticking out of our skirt. Then we wrapped it up in a blanket and paraded it into the cockpit, carried it from galley to galley while the pgr. slept and slept. Fortunately he was sitting right across from the B zone lav and we could use the f/c curtain as a shield as we took it out and put it back. Then lo and behold, with the same crew, no less, on the next flight, a passenger asked if I could put this item up in the overhead for him. It was another artificial leg from the knee down. I could hardly keep a straight face and purposely pretended it had to be stored up in front so I could walk it thru the galley ---again. People never have this much fun in offices!!!!!
Return to top
|
Pamela
We were flying an all-nighter LAX-JFK and had a passenger in first class who was blind. Shannon had him on flights before and couldn’t stand him. He would put head phones on and sing out loud while people were sleeping, drink heavily, and then stand around the galley listening to us and being obnoxious. Well, I decided to try to make Shannon laugh. There were a few of us standing by this man and I started to lick my lips and make Marilyn Monroe movements which included licking my finger and rubbing my breasts very provocatively. It was getting pretty funny, the other flight attendants were really getting a kick out of it when the man said, “This is damn good first class service.” I said in shock to Shannon, who has been dead pan the whole time, “ I thought he was blind.” Shannon says as she walks away, “Oh, he can see a little.” I never came back to first class again even though I was R1. This falls under the category of never assume. I’m still embarressed and it was at least
15 years ago.
Return to top
|
Kaye
707 days. I was standing at the front of the 707 coach cabin busy with the all important oxygen demo stuff when I looked towards the back of the cabin - coach galley area and I started to laugh. My flying partner was in the aft of the A/C “mooning me!”
Well the passengers could see by my expression something was going on, so with a grand smile, I tactfully pointed my finger to ther rear of the A/C. Immediately all heads turned, aisle people had their heads hanging out followed with a great round of applause!
Needless to say my flying partner finally realized she was now mooning about 80 people!
Return to top
|
|
Willie
Well, I have another one too. I hesitated posting this in fear of someone getting offended, but it’s all in fun and my apologies in advance if it does offend anyone.
Me 767 FSM. Fun crew all of us reserves to Paris. We all know that it’s very common in Europe to snap your fingers when you need “service.” A man sitting in the rear with proficient English kept snapping his fingers at one of my "girls".
She totally ignored this passenger citing a quick lesson in “the American way.” I was briefed by the F/A about the situation and was told that she would handle the matter. (if you’re reading this girl I know you remember). The man kept snapping and snapping. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore and went up to the passenger wobbling her head side to side with both hands on her hips.
She looked directly at the passengers face and said “honey, it takes more than 2 fingers to make me come” and walked off. Every passenger who understood roared with laughter leaving the passenger dumbfounded. He demanded to speak to the head steward. I was briefed by the F/A again and went to face the passenger. Trying to keep a straight face I listened intensely with lots of eye contact. He complained about the fingering and when he was through, I said please don’t finger my girls on the aircraft. I pointed to the call bell and showed him how to operate the button. We had no further fingering incidents after that.
Return to top
|
Suzanne
Early one morning upon boarding a DC9, my flying partner was meeting and greeting and I was in the F/C galley. Approaching us, down the jetway came this tall, husky, biker type guy, sleeveless t-shirt, tatooed, longish hair (you get the picture) stops short of entering the aircraft, places his left hand on the fuselage, bows his head in short prayer. Saying a silent ‘Amen’, with his first step ‘BONKS’ his forehead on the top of the door frame......hard!
I know he saw stars!!! We asked if he was alright, gave him ice and watched him stagger to his seat. My flying partner and I looked at one another...and said at the very same time , unrehearsed,
“God works in mysterious ways.”
We cracked ourselves up.
Return to top
|
Jan
This was more of a prank than embarrassing. It happened in Guam back in the grand Pacific days we thought would never end. We actually used to have a saying about Guam that it stood for Give Up and M-------te because we had a layover going and coming and there wasn’t alot to do. I could slap myself now for ever badmouthing anyplace out there!
Anyway we were to go on to Hongkong but the next crew brought in a sick 707 that should have been repaired before it left LAX. We cancelled and lost out trip and thus our HKG layover. We stayed on our pattern and the crew that brought it in got to keep their HKG layover. Anyway we were all furious including our cockpit crew. A “debriefing” ensued in one room and a several phone calls were made to the now sleeping Capt. that brought it in. This continued as our group consumed more ale. As the day wore on Linda and I departed for the beach at the Continental Hotel and met up with our First Officer. While snorkeling we came up with the idea of plopping a sea cucumber on the doorstep of the sleeping culprit. Stepping on one ends up a gluey sticky mess that is difficult to get off a shoe. None of us wanted to touch the slimey thing so we found a forked stick and managed to carry it some distance to his bungalow and left it at his door. In the meantime the debriefing continued with more now drunken calls being made to the pilot’s room. I was to meet two others for dinner and was at the front desk using the phone to call them when this pilot came up to the desk asking if they had any suggestion for getting sea cucumber off your shoe as it seemed someone had placed one at his doorstep. I made a quick exit at that point. When we got back the office had put out a general bulletin “there will be no more harassment of crew members on layovers” Linda and I laughed for years because we knew we weren’t suspects because of the rowdy debriefing. The company never pursued it as our pilots were in on it as well. Those were the days when we had plenty of time to get into mischief even on what had become a somewhat monotonous layover spot. How stupid we were to think it would never end! I think the statute of limitations has run out on this one too and both cockpit crews have probably flown west!
Return to top
|
Camille
Embarrassing is when you and your co-worker are unaware that the P/A is on (that old microphone type you had to push the button on the side to talk-it was between us while sitting on the jumpseat with time to spare prior to closing the door) and you’re quietly discussing b.j’s. Then a handsome man in first comes up and says, ”Ladies, you’re coming out on the PA.”
I’m sure they had to strain their ears to hear it, but to have to stand out there and do the demo,and have all that testosterone watching you and wondering,”Is she the one who swa**&%@?” Very embarrassing!!!
(every family has a black sheep-please don’t kick me out!)
Return to top
|
Pam
We had an Arabic guy who was snapping his fingers at the 2 F/A’s in the back. They kept complaining to the FSM and said they weren’t going to go to him again, please take care of it. So the guy snaps his fingers again and the FSM ,in his inemitable style, sat on the arm rest in front of him and asked how he could help him. The man said in a heavy accent, “I have been fingering your flight attendants all day, with no reaction!!” Joe said, “ I know how you feel, sir, I’ve been flying with them for 2 days and I haven’t gotten a reaction either.....” Everyone laugh and he just sat there not getting it.
|
Jan
I was working L2 on MD80, an early departure STL-SJC, it was a light load and most pax were tired and quiet, There was a little lady on her first flight (she proudly told me she was 87) and she was like a kid in a candy store. She would walk up and down the aisle stopping to look out of every window. She wanted “souvenirs” and I gave her some wings (then she helped herself to the silverware and coffee cup from her tray).
Return to top
|
Sally
As a new hire in New York I was I was on the Q33 leaving from LGA at 11:30 pm after a long trip with another new hire from Georgia. Cute little thing with a very southern accent. She said she had never taken the bus before and was scrutinizing a sign on the wall. She was carefully leaning out into the aisle to make sure she didn’t miss her stop. She’s talking to me and in the middle of a sentence she yells out “ape please” .... I stared at her and then she jumps and and yells at the driver “I said ape please, ape please!” He slams on the brakes stands up and says “what the &^%^_ is your problem?” She said I needed to get off at that last stop. Thanks alot and she storms off the bus into the rain. The bus driver looks at him cause I was sitting with her. It was then that I saw the sign she was reading. On the sign that should have read”PLEASE PRESS YELLOW TAPE TO STOP. someone had blocked out letters leaving it to read”PLEASE YELL APE TO STOP”
Return to top |
|
Patti
One of my first layovers was in London when I received what I later found out was my crew call. A woman said something to me which I asked her to repeat. She repeated again and I said “Ma am I cant understand you, can you put someone else on the phone” A gentleman came on and told me it was my crew call. I said” Thanks I couldn't understand a word that lady was saying. Was she speaking english?” He said” Oh indeed she was Sir, the problem was you we’re hearing “it in American!!"
Return to top
|
Diane
Remember the wonderful services on our L1011’s? One evening from JFK to LAX, I was working the F/C aisle and it was time to carve the roast. (If you remember for a while we served a roast instead of the chateaubriand). This was one of those flights. Some of you have probably heard this story - yes - it was me. The roast was not as tender and easy to carve as the chateau was. Yes, I carved it right off the end of the cart and onto the aisle pax lap. I grabbed the roast off of his lap whispering apologies. Then I grabbed the napkin which I had hooked on the end of the cart and started rubbing like crazy to clean up the mess I had made. I noticed he started stretching out and I heard a moan. I looked at his face, still apologizing. He was panting. His wife took off her headset and socked him on the side of his face calling him a nasty name. I think there may still be an imprint of her diamond ring on his face to this day.
This is when I decided to start working galley. I seemed to get into too much trouble in the aisles.
Return to top
|
And more.............
|
|
